Throughout history, men were depicted as providers, protectors, and lovers; and for the most time, they performed those roles quite beautifully. However, the sexual revolution, or better yet – liberation, challenged traditional gender roles and continues to do so to this day.
Besides challenging traditional gender roles, the sexual revolution also brought a full acceptance of sexuality and contraception. So, thanks to the beautiful 1960s, sexual education became a thing, and sexual health discussions became a socially accepted topic in Western culture.
In this article, we’ll answer the question asked by many – how to last longer in bed, and how to prolong the sex play?
Let’s get acquainted
In the modern world, society reshapes the concept of masculinity, and the expectation bar for men’s sexual performance went up. Nowadays, men are expected to be super-lovers; able to make love for countless of hours, while simultaneously fighting off bears and painting the fence.
Jokes aside, there’s nothing more shameful for anyone, not just men, than having to apologize to someone for “underperforming” between the sheets. The issue of premature ejaculation can harm your relationship, your sex life, and even your mental health. Still, with the right mindset, you can easily overcome this little problem and still experience an exciting sex life.
Because, believe it or not, premature ejaculation is a common condition; so much, that it affects one in three men. Unfortunately, even though it’s a common issue, the subject of ejaculating prematurely isn’t openly discussed among men, as it is often perceived as a lack of masculinity. However, we strongly feel that sexual health issues should be discussed openly, even among the band of brothers.
So, we encourage men worldwide to open and discuss potential sex health issues.
Mind over matter
Even though the exact causes of premature ejaculation can’t be singled out, in most cases, there are various psychological factors at play. Things like sexual anxiety, or anxiety in general, relationship problems, and even fear of PE itself can make you cum faster.
It may sound like a cliché, but the very first thing you should do is relax, and don’t let yourself be bummed out. The body follows wherever the mind goes, and negative thinking will only make things worse. Instead of spiraling down the lane of self-pity, tackle the problem as an adult, by moving positively and productively.
The most important thing to remember is that finishing early doesn’t make you less of a man. Comparing yourself to an unrealistic depiction of male sexual performance will only set you up for future failure.
Also, don’t be shy and talk about it with your partner. Your significant other can be the biggest support on your path of sexual self-improvement and working together can be an incredibly exciting and bonding experience.
Entrée – the importance of foreplay
Sex isn’t just penetration. Foreplay, in all its forms, is also an essential part of sexual play, and you can use that to your advantage. Remember, the critical word of foreplay is “play.”
One of the best things you can do is to bring your partner to orgasm during foreplay, orally, or by “manual labor.” So, use your mouth and your hands to bring your partner to orgasm before the main event. In turn, they will reach climax faster and easier during the main event.
This shouldn’t be obligatory, though, so don’t rush it. If it happens – it happens. The main idea behind foreplay is taking the effort to stimulate your partner, both mentally and physically additionally. So, don’t be afraid to talk sweet nothings while you’re kissing and caressing your partner.
The main course
When it comes to the main event, there are a couple of things that can help you last longer, so keep them in mind.
Choose a sex position that keeps the pace down or allows for shallow penetration. Avoid positions that require hard thrusting or allow deep penetration, since they’ll make you reach the finish line faster. And you don’t want to cross the finish line before your partner does.
Use rear-entry sitting positions, side by side, or spooning. These are great, as they keep things slow while providing enough stimulation to keep it exciting and pleasurable. Also, each time you feel like you’re about to orgasm, take a moment, and switch into a different position.
Switching positions will make you pause for a moment, just enough to keep you from orgasming. While you’re changing the positions, take a second and apply slight pressure to the tip of your penis, by gently squeezing the glans (head). This forces blood back into the shaft, reducing the ejaculatory response.
Consider wearing a condom, especially a thicker one, as it can decrease sensitivity, making you last longer. They come in different thicknesses, so some experimentation might be required beforehand. Some condoms feature numbing agents on the inside, which decrease slightly decrease the sensation.
Recommended reading: How to Put on a Condom – Our Guide
If it’s easier for you to get visually stimulated, consider the lighting. Dimming the lights, or turning them off completely, limits your visual stimulation, and helps create a more relaxed, intimate environment. Not only will it make you last longer, but a more intimate setting will also help your partner reach orgasm faster.
Do it more than once. All the most exciting sports in the world have halftimes or rounds, so why should sex be any different. If you blew your load sooner than expected, it might take you from a few seconds, up to 30 minutes to recover. Use that time to cuddle, kiss, or pleasure your partner for a while, until you’re ready to go again.
Side dishes, desserts, and masturbation
Masturbating before sex can significantly improve your game time. Shaking hands with the milkman, an hour or two before sex, releases built-up sexual tension, enabling you to last longer in bed later on. This trick also depends on your recovery time, so have fun and experiment a little.
Consider using sex toys, like penis sleeves. These silicone sex toys slip over the penis, providing more please for the person being penetrated. If your erection subsided after spilling your love-juice, put a penis sleeve on, and play on.
Also, you can consider using desensitizing products, like gels and sprays. You apply your product of choice a few minutes before getting your freak on, and it will decrease your sensitivity. These products are specially designed to have no taste and not transfer from you to your partner. Meaning you get to last longer, and your partner gets to keep their sensation in all the body cavities.
You should avoid pornography, as it can have a negative impact. Now, don’t get us wrong; pornography is excellent and has a lot of potential benefits. But if you’re experiencing PE issues, watching porn can negatively impact your confidence, since it depicts unrealistic male sexual performance.
It also stimulates you sexually, which builds up your sexual energy. And when the time comes, instead of being a shining light of sexuality, you’ll end up being a flash of lightning – the one that came rather quickly. For that matter, avoid sexually stimulating things during the day, if you’re not going to have any release before hitting the sheets with your partner.
Practice makes perfect
Several exercises can help improve your overall game time, lengthen and strengthen your orgasm and gain better control over it. So, have fun and experiment, since fun and experimentation are crucial for healthy sex life.
Women’s magazines and podcasts dedicated to women’s sexual health are buzzing about Kegel exercises [We covered more on this subject in this article]. It’s the exercise taught by the midwives to help women prepare for childbirth by strengthening the pelvic floor muscles. They’re also used to tighten the grip of their love glove, which can prolong and intensify their orgasms.
But Kegels aren’t only for women, and men can significantly benefit from this exercise also. It helps strengthen the pelvic floor muscles, which not only help control premature ejaculation, but also grant you stronger erections, and promote overall penis health.
To perform this simple, yet effective exercise, you must first locate the muscles you’re going to be contracting. To do this, try and stop the flow of urine the next time you’re in the bathroom. The muscles you contracted by stopping the flow of urine or the passage of gas are your pelvic floor muscles.
To perform Kegels, you should contract these muscles for a slow count of three, and then release the tension for three seconds. Repeat this ten times, three times a day. It’s best to start slow, to avoid straining the PFM, so three-second contractions should suffice.
As you strengthen the PF muscles, you can increase the duration of contractions to five seconds or longer, boosting your workout. Just remember to breathe correctly and avoid contracting your buttocks or stomach muscles while doing Kegels.
The great thing about this exercise is that you can do it anytime, anywhere – during breakfast, in the office, while you’re stuck in traffic. They’re so discreet nobody will know you’re doing them. Just stay consistent, remember the benefits, and pay attention to progress.
Another method is the “stop-start” method first mentioned in the 1950s, also known as edging. It’s a very effective method of combating premature ejaculation by training the body to control the ejaculatory reflex. Mainly, edging involves stopping sexual stimulation right before you reach the peak and bust a nut.
When you feel like you’re about to cum, stop the stimulation, and take a break. Relax and breathe for a couple of seconds, then start touching yourself again, bringing yourself closer to orgasm, and stopping once more. Repeat the process for a few more rounds than allow yourself to orgasm.
The great thing about edging is that it can be done solo or with a partner. If you’re doing it with a partner, please give them cues when you’re about to finish, so that they may reduce or stop the stimulation. And please don’t forget about your partner, and stimulate them, since edging together can produce one of the most intense orgasms for both of you.
In the end, you’re only limited only by your imagination, so don’t be shy and get your freak on. Discuss things with your partner and remember that practice makes perfect. Being consistent with these exercises is crucial if you wish to achieve the promised results.
Know your cutlery
We strongly advise you to go to the library or watch some online videos about penis anatomy and penis sex health. Knowing how your hardware works and how to improve its overall health is crucial for your performance and quality sex life.
Getting familiar with penis anatomy and sexual health, and men’s sexual health issues is recommended even to those without a penis of their own. If you’re one such person, educating yourself on the subject can significantly affect your ability to help your male partner fight PE more effectively. It also points to various physical and psychological issues men face when suffering from premature ejaculation.
Talk to the experts
In the end, if none of these tips and tricks don’t work for you, it’s a good idea to talk to your doctor. As we said, the causes of premature ejaculation are usually psychological; however, some biological reasons also exist.
Though rare, biological triggers for PE can include abnormal hormone levels, inflammation or infection of the prostate, nerve damage, or withdrawal from specific medication. Talking to your doctor helps with finding these causes, if any exist, or rule them out.
If your issue is physiological, talking to a sex therapist can help you overcome emotional causes or restrictions you may be experiencing.
Usually triggered by psychological causes or physical overstimulation, premature ejaculation, though unpleasant, shouldn’t throw you down the lane of self-doubt and self-pity.
Premature ejaculation, though unpleasant, usually isn’t something you should stress about. Adhering to the advice pointed out in this article can help you last significantly longer in bed, to the mutual satisfaction of you and your partner.
It’s usually triggered by psychological causes or physical overstimulation; the issue can have nerve-racking consequences if approached incorrectly. So, relax, talk to your partner, and include them on your journey to sexual self-improvement, as it can be a fun and exciting experience for both.
Side note: All the cooking and fine-dining references used in this article are purely for entertainment purposes and are metaphorical. And although the can of whipped cream was the most likely of victims, no food ingredients, or cutlery, were harmed during the writing of this article.
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